The Obsession with College Selectivity Is Hurting Our Kids: Fostering Healthy and Student-Centered College Admissions

Thanks to aggressive marketing bombarding teens and their families, combined with fear-inducing messaging, our society has constructed a false and damaging narrative: a person's worth is measured by the college they attend. Compounding this is an unhealthy obsession with college rankings—many of which are deeply flawed, methodologically questionable, and easily manipulated. We’ve also begun to treat hearsay from TikTok influencers and Facebook parent groups as fact, allowing unvetted advice to shape critical decisions.

As a college admissions professional, I devote significant time and energy to redirecting families toward what truly matters: students’ emotional well-being, fulfillment, long-term goals, and future life satisfaction. I consistently use data to demonstrate that attending a $90,000-plus-per-year college with a single-digit acceptance rate is not the sole path to success—nor is deciding not to apply exclusively to such institutions a sentence to a life of failure. Yet, despite my efforts, I remain disheartened by the powerful influence of emotionally charged information and inaccurate messaging that leaves students and families feeling inadequate.

Parents genuinely want what’s best for their children—we want them to thrive in every way. But even with the best intentions, it can be challenging to resist the pull of prevailing cultural pressures, constant social media noise, the barrage of clever marketing emails, and widespread misinformation. I will continue my efforts in the hope that, through consistent data-informed guidance, I can help parents recenter their focus on what truly matters: their child’s well-being, growth, and long-term success on their own terms.

Seven College Admissions Myths in College—and the Truths Behind Them

Myth #1: Students who do not attend a prestigious or highly selective college are doomed to mediocrity and misery.

Reality: What students do in college matters far more than where they go. A 2018 report from the Stanford Graduate School of Education found that college selectivity is not a reliable predictor of learning, job satisfaction, or long-term well-being (click HERE to read the full report). Additionally, many Fortune 500 CEOs did not attend Ivy League or similarly selective colleges (see: Where Top CEOs Went to College).

Expert Tip 💡For more information on where CEOs went to college, click HERE and HERE.

Myth #2: All good colleges are nearly impossible to get into.

Reality: This perception is fueled by significant media attention on a small number of hyper-selective institutions. It is a fact that over 80% of U.S. colleges accept more than half of the students who apply to them (click HERE for additional information). Overall, it is easier to get into college than it was twenty years ago (click HERE for more details). Schools like Duke (6.8%), Harvard (3.5%), MIT (4.5%), Stanford (4%), University of Chicago (4.8%), and Vanderbilt (6%) are statistical outliers—not the norm. Click HERE for additional information.

Myth #3: Medical schools, graduate programs, and employers only value applicants from elite universities.

Reality: While a few companies recruit primarily from the Ivy League, although there is evidence to suggest that this trend continues to cool (click HERE for more information), the number of positions they offer account for a tiny percentage of jobs available. For the most part, success in graduate admissions and the workforce depends on individual performance, i.e., personal agency. Students who own their college experience thrive—earning strong GPAs, engaging in research, internships, or co-ops—are competitive regardless of where they studied. Think about it: Do college faculty conducting cutting-edge research upon which their jobs depend want inexperienced undergraduate students in their labs? For information on colleges with high medical school admissions and generous merit scholarships that admit most students, click HERE.

Myth #4: SAT and ACT scores are the most critical part of a college application.

Reality: Most colleges now take a holistic approach to admissions, and the majority are test-optional. While test scores can and do still add value, at specific institutions, applicants must evaluate their personal context, the overall quality of their applications, the college’s test score policy, and how their scores compare to admitted students. Click HERE for a list of test-optional colleges. To determine the number and percentage of enrolled, degree-seeking, first-time, first-year students who submitted test scores,  check out the college’s Common Data Set, Section C9.

Myth #5: Only public universities are affordable.

Reality: In some states, this is true for many students. However, for students who live in states where public universities are more expensive, private colleges and public universities in other states with lower costs of attendance are worth considering.

Expert Tip 💡 For California residents, the cost of attendance at the R-1 designated University of North Carolina, Charlotte is slightly less than UCLA and UC Irvine.

Myth #6: Higher cost is an indicator of higher quality.

Reality: A college’s price tag often reflects factors like state funding levels, endowment size, and operational costs—not academic quality. Cost has nothing to do with fit beyond financial or a student’s potential for success.

Myth #7:  Students who attend community college and transfer are losers.

Reality: Offering significant cost savings, flexible pathways, and articulation agreements with four-year institutions, community colleges are a smart, strategic option for many students. Attending community college makes it possible to transfer into strong bachelor’s programs that might have been out of reach in high school.

Want to learn more about the negative impact of society's obsession with our children’s achievements? Read Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic-and What We Can Do About It by Jennifer B. Wallace.

For more information about the myths and realities of college admissions and how to ensure a low-stress and data-driven college application process, reach out at kathy@fineeducationalsolutions.com.